Homeschool

Monday we start our homeschool journey! Ethan is going to start on Kindergarten with his Heart of Dakota curriculum. Miss Kinsey will start on her Preschool basics with Colors, Counting, and ABCs. She is already really good, so it should go really well. Pray Ethan and Mommy can work as a team and accomplish our daily goals! One day at a time!

Weight Loss

I have lost an additional 5 lbs since my last check in on here! I am feeling much better then I was a few months ago. I am currently in a 3 day cleanse with my cousin who is a rep for Shakeology and I have so far lost 3 lbs doing this. I feel pretty great too! I highly recommend giving it a try!

Fitness

I have been walking and jogging every night at 8 when the kids go to bed for about a month now. I feel so much better then I did a month ago! I have way more energy and don't feel all sluggish now. I have lost 7 lbs and 2 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my hips. I am very pleased with my progress so far! I have about 20 more lbs to go, but if I keep going they will be gone by my birthday! Hopefully, lol.

My little girl

My precious princess

I am hesitant to write this but feel I need to really get it off my chest and see if anyone can relate. So please just know from the get go, I adore my child!

But man oh man is she driving me insane!! :) My sweet Kinsey is 2.5 and by all means in her Terrible 2s. So I do give her some benefit of the doubt- daily. She also has many diagnosed allergies to food, mold, animals, and outdoor enviromental allergens.  So if too many of those stack up, it is no wonder she has bad days. Anybody would. With that said. She is having some major meltdowns. I am at a serious loss as to what to do with her.

She was seeing an allergist regularly and has an appt this coming Thursday. But so far all he has done for her is suggest supplements and vitamins. So for several months she has been taking- Claritan, D3, Omega3 fish oils, Acidopholus/Probiotic, Multivitamin, and Fiber gummy.  She was also taking a Singular every day but it will cost us $130 a month and it didn't seem to help her as much as we would want. She also has Flonase and Nasonex nasal sprays. The allergist we have been seeing doesn't have any other suggestions for her and she is the exact same she was a year ago when we started with this.

I took her to a ENT yesterday and he said that she looked great, and if he didn't know from me she had allergies- he would have never guessed. He said to just do some food eliminations and see if we can just take out a couple foods instead of worrying about too many foods and not getting the important ones out. Which makes sense to me.

Now for these tantrums. I do not know if it is stemmed from not feeling well/allergies, or her temperament. Its really hard to know, she since is 2 and could just be throwing normal tantrums. They are becoming very regular and daily. She gets very angry very quickly. She used to be such a happy little thing! I miss my sweet little girl. :(    She is to the point of screaming bloody murder over just about anything. If she doesn't get my attention right away when she gets mad- it turns into a full body all out fit where she ends up sweating and turning red. She has been getting mad at the store and not wanting in the cart and screams to get out. So I let her out, and then she falls flat on the floor and refuses to walk. So then I am so frustrated and she is frustrated. I am at such a loss with her right now.

My major issue is this. Do I hope this is a phase and it will end and go away with the next 2 years of her maturing?? Do I take her to the Pediatrician and tell him how she is behaving- yet again and hope he can help?? Assuming its her allergies and get her a new allergist?? What do I do!?

Fashionista!

What a sweet spunky little thing. She insists on dressing herself and is very into fashion and accessories :) Just love her craziness!

Homeschool Curriculum!

Yes I did it! I finally found and decided on our Homeschool curriculum for Ethan this fall, for Kindergarten! I am super excited and really looking forward to this. I got the idea and the guide from this mom Our Family for His Flory and think its great. Our new curriculum is called Heart of Dakota using Little Hearts for His Glory  and I will be  following her ideas here as I go along. I am really looking forward to this Christ centered learning for our children and cannot wait to start in September. Thank you to all of you that prayed for us as we made this decision. We feel God has really put it in our hearts to school from home. Thank you!

Look at these faces

How can these eyes not melt your heart?

This one doesn't do a lot of Mommy Snuggles, so when I can get them... I take them for all they are worth!!

Macie's Dedication on Mother's Day

Oh man do I love her!

My sweet babies

Wonder who Macie looks like...

There's my BOY!

Heavy Heart

Its been less then a week now, since Macie turned one, but I am still having a hard time. I just cannot shake this feeling of sadness. I know I made the decision all on my own, well with Devan of course, to not have any more children. It wasn't my doctors suggestion, it was my choice. So why am I so upset about it? The day before Macie's birthday- last Friday I cried pretty much all morning. Every little thing that went wrong set me off into another crying episode. It is so hard to explain how I am truly feeling about this.

I am unsure if I am more upset that I cannot have another child, or the fact that my baby turned one and is on her way to being a walking talking child soon. If that makes sense?! I feel this small part of me wanting a baby, and not feeling complete. But then I really get to thinking about it and wonder if its just my sadness over Macie being older. Please continue to pray that I find some peace and completeness in this emotional mess I am in. I do feel so incredibly blessed to have the 3 children we have. And they are so amazing and healthy. I just can't seem to shake this feeling.

Thanks for listening!

Macie turns 1

Well, the big day came and went. Miss Macie Mae is now a big 1 year old! She loved every minute of her party. Especially the cake! That girl could have sat there and ate cake all day.

She is such a joy to be around. She was up most of the day and didn't fuss one time! She is just so easy to please. We are truly blessed with this little girl. We had several family members and a couple friends over for a Easter egg hunt and lunch. And you can't for get the cake!

Macie's Cake

Number 1 cake for everyone- Butter flavored with Chocolate frosting! So yummy!

Isn't she adorable!! she melts my heart!

All the kiddos!

Ladies opening presents. The men were busy outside working on our new riding lawn mower. Much better this way!!!

Happy Birthday sweet girl! You truly are a gift from God!

woowzers

this morning did not start well. things got off on the wrong foot and just kept building from there. but fortunately when you have a love like ours....it comes full circle right back to where it should. happiness. id like to say we learned some things...and maybe we did. i do know for sure though..what doesnt kill us will make us stronger.


i do love my hubby

ps sorry for the grammatical issues my phone isnt shifting  hmmm

Bittersweet

Macie will be 1 in 3 weeks. 22 days. ugh. I love this little girl, she is sooo precious and has an amazing personality. We have been so blessed with her. Her birthday is so very bittersweet to this momma. She is my last and final baby and before long will not be a baby any longer. Oh how I'm already missing it. I just want to hold her and cuddle her forever, just keep her this age for as long as I can.

Today was my yearly exam and I had to go through the 'you got a tubal' stuff again. I really don't want to talk about it. I tried to mention it to a couple people today- but unless you are a young woman in her child bearing years and you just recently had a tubal, you can't possibly understand how I feel right now. You can try, and thank you for doing so, but you just don't  know.

I am sad I'm done having kids. And to be honest- if it wasn't for a very few people... I would have had one or two more. But with little support of that, I had the tubal so I would be done. I have regrets. I want more. I made a very permanent decison and now, I am done having kids. I will manage and I will be content. I can blame no one but myself for deciding what I did.

My dr assured me that at the first yearly exam after having a tubal, many women feel the way I do. Which, is comforting. I am hoping as the year goes on and I get past this small bump I will feel better. Pray I can find peace and be satisfied and content with my decision and feel blessed to have the family and life I do.

Philippians 4:6-7

 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. '

Changes

My little family of 5 will be making some changes. Over the next year we have big decisions to make and we would love to have your prayers and support. We are not sure what is going to happen, but we know God is in control :)  If and when we have more to share, you know I will!! but for now, keep praying!

Here are a few pictures to hold you over:

Our Grandma Dollie, Paige and Ethan. Grandma Dollie is recovering from Colon Cancer surgery- and is currently going through chemo treatments. We just spent the weekend with her in Liberal.

This is Grandma Dollie with my mother accepting a plaque for my Grandpa's contributions to the Liberal Barbershop Quartet :)

My siblings and I with our Granny Sue-who also lives in Liberal.

Ethan and Paige at Dorthy's House in Liberal.

Being a mother

I love being a mom. I just do. I have wanted to be a mom since as long as I can remember. We had our first child, Ethan, in 2006. Kinsey came in 2008 and Macie in 2010. They were all born by Csection and all within 3 years. We made the decision while pregnant with Macie- that she would be our last. The decision was mostly financial - since we really want to afford to do fun things with our children. The second reason, was health. Since I had 3 csections and they were taking a little toll on my body! Im sure I probably could have handled another. My mom knows a woman that had 7 csections!! ouch!

With that said, Im a little sad. Now is the time we would be trying for another baby. I don't really have the baby fever crazies like I got with the other 2 though. And I am not completely sure I am 'yearning' for another baby. Im not sure what it is. Maybe just the mourning of my pregnant self.  I think I could have had 5 or 6 kids and I would have been happy :) I keep seeing pregnant women and friends and wishing it was me. But then I think about it, and Im glad it isn't! lol. What a mix of emotions. Its a lot different then when Kinsey was 10 months old and I HAD to have another baby. We weren't actively trying when we got pregnant with her though- not yet. God has his own plan for that. I had surgery and it got my ovulation off a bit- so my planning wasn't on target. oops! And then I found out I was pregnant the same day I found out my grandfather passed away. All in God's Timing. :)

I would love to adopt later and add to our little family- but for now, Im loving and enjoying the 3 children God blessed us with!

Decisons about schooling

I have a great dilema right now. Where will Ethan go to Kindergarten? I have one year to be certain, and I know its going to fly by so quickly. Im really trying hard not to decide... but have recently realized, I do need to make a decision. The most ideal scenario for us would be to move to a rural area with a small town feel and good schools. We were both raised in smaller towns and we want the same for our kids.

Right now where we live- the best option would be to homeschool. Ethan is currently in preschool at a local church and will go there in the fall for Pre- K. Kinsey will go next spring to the same school for her preschool. But come Fall 2012 Ethan will be ready for all day Kindergarten and thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. ALL DAY!!!?? wow. So what do I do? Wichita schools are not an option. Maybe for Kindergarten sure, but after that. No. So we need to just go ahead and do whatever it is what plan to do now, so we don't have to move him in and out of different school districts.

We do love this house, and if it wasn't for the schooling we would probably stay for the next 5 years. Our long term goal is to be in the country with acreage. If we can do that in the next year great! but our house isn't ready for the market and we don't know where we want to go quite yet. What a mess. Prayers would be appreciated as we make these important decisions.

Family Life- Weekend to Remeber

Devan and I had the privelege to attend the Weekend to Remember conference at the Hyatt this weekend.  My mother took our little bitty for the weekend and Aunt Candace took the older two. We are so grateful for their help this past weekend. Without them, it would not have been possible!

There were several key messages at this conference, the ones that stick out in my mind are:

- When Couple's fail to grasp God's perspective on difficulties and problems, the result is isolation.

- ...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:19

- Couples who value children as a gift from God can experience the blessing of a godly legacy.
.. this was especially good for us. As we tend to get wrapped up in the 'obligations' that comes with being parents. We get too focused on the routine of things and it can become overwhelming. We need to just relax and see our children as gifts from our wonderful God.

- To truly experience oneness in marriage, we must first experience the power that comes from oneness with God.

-Remember- Your mate is not your enemy.

-Resolving conflict requires forgiveness.
---We can choose to respond to hurt and insult with a blessing.
---Resolving conflict is essential to achieving oneness in marriage.

-God created the man to be the LEADER in marriage. And it is the woman's job to make sure she is being the helper. She is to 'expand the original' by supporting his role as leader.

- The wife needs to have an 'attitude of Unconditional respect' for her husband.

- It may not be your 'season' in life to have 'extra time' for yourself. The extra time you do have, needs to be with the lord. Your season for 'me time' may come later in your life.

-A supportive wife trusts her husband to make decisions even if they are sometimes wrong (from your perspective), trusting that God can correct him and change him.

- We need to be Intentionally Teaching our children. "She models Godly womanhood, knowing that her children are always watching". Life is caught more then taught.

Ethusiastic Encouragement leads to Authentic Unity.

Overall it was a great weekend. We had some challenging moments, but we were able to overcome, grow, and re-center our lives.  Take a look at this site- http://www.familymatters.net/  the main speaker that was amazing with words is part of that company. He also wrote- Grace Based Parenting. Tim Kimmel.

Necessary Documentation

This time last week, my children were getting along. They were tickling eachother and laughing. Today- my chidlren are driving me insane. They are constantly picking at eachother these days. So, just for my records.... they CAN get along. :)

My girls! I just adore them ;)

New stuff!

Like my new name and page??! ;)

Surgery

For the past year I have had gallbladder issues and attacks. I didn't know at first it WAS my gallbladder, but I did assume. I was about 25 weeks pregnant when I had my first attack. It was super scary, mostly because I was pregnant. It lasted 15 minutes and then it was gone! Every day after that I had mild discomfort whenever I ate. I mentioned it to my OB at the time and he set me up to have an ultrasound of my gallbladder. It showed nothing. :(   FAIL. Being pregnant there wasn't much else they could do for me. There was a test they could run, but not until after I had Macie. Fortunately they gave me a prescription for indigestion/reflux, which help temendously. Fast forward to Christmas 2010, I had another big attack. BUT I was still nursing Macie and wasn't ready to wean her just yet. I was not feeling well at all and the 'mild discomfort' was getting worse every time I ate.

I made an appt with my general practitioner and she immediately set me up to have a Hida scan of my gallbladder. I went the very next day. I had my results within 2 days. My gallbladder was functioning at a 28% ejection rate. It wasn't working. Surgery was scheduled for the next week. Devan stayed with the kids and my mother took me in for my surgery. It wasn't too bad overall, minus a few anxiety attacks! But Im prone to those. Glad I had my momma with me! 5 days after being home to recover, I wasn't getting better. I was still in pain, and I was Super nauseous and dizzy. They called in a prescription for pain and for nausea. Then my throat started to hurt. I went to the dr and I had a virus, and my throat was covered in white blisters. :(  Got a Zpak and was better in 24 hours!

I had my 2 week post op appt yesterday. The doctor told me the reason I am in so much pain still is because of the type of incision I have on my belly button. Because I have a navel ring/scar they had to make a different cut. So I have a lovely 1 inch horizontal cut right under my belly button. They also said, they discovered I had a bad inflamation- a mild chronic Cholecystitis. If I hadn't had surgery, the inflamation would have grown and gotten much worse- turning into an infection. I also would have had increased symptoms, making me feel very poorly.

So grateful to have my gallbladder gone! Really praying hard I feel better! So far, I really do feel better. But I tend to have some similar symptoms to what I was experiencing before surgery. Its only been 2 weeks though, so only time will tell! I had the nicest people taking care of me and my kiddos while I was recovering. I am so blessed!