My heart

I can't believe Macie is 8 months old now, where did the time go!?

This little girl is the sweetest baby. She never cries! only fusses quietly when she needs changed or fed. I ADORE her!! Best thing about her? She loves to snuggle!!!! :) My sweet Macie Mae.

These two share a very special bond, and it makes this Momma very happy to see :)

Love

Those of you closest to Devan and I know we fight. Lol, we do not hide this from our family and friends. We are just those kind of people, we are just REAL. Yes we could keep it behind closed doors, but we just aren't that filtered. We act in the now, and sometimes hurt eachothers feelings. We ALWAYS make up and apologize, and that is something others do not SEE or understand. We always wake up in the morning as best friends.  At the end of the day, this man is my soul mate. I have no doubt in my mind that God chose us for one another. We were absolutely made to be in eachothers lives. Til death do us part! Love you Babe!


I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be


But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you


God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you


There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr

Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you


God gave me you for the ups and downs


God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.

Gave me you.



God Gave me you, Dave Barnes

Well Child Visits

Today was Kinsey's 2 year well child check up. Her stats are:

24.4 lbs- 23%
34.75 inches- 75%
15 in head- 10%  :) just like her Momma!

She did great! she is having some issues though, so we are going to give her Claritan daily(mommy has to remember every single day, I am SOOO bad about this!) and put her on Rice Milk for a month. She is super sleepy, cranky, constipated, puffy eyes, runny nose. The dr doesn't think its seasonal allergies, he thinks its a food allergy. Either way she had her blood drawn today to be allergy tested.

I went ahead and measured and weighed the other two since we were there.

Macie:
14 lbs- 25%
26.5 in- 90%

Ethan:
34 lbs- 50%
39.5 in- 50%

Pond Fishing Game

This is a Pond I painted for my Mother in law, Joy. She gave me a refridgerator box and asked me to paint a pond on it. So... I did. :) She is going to use it as a fishing game for kids at our upcoming famiy reunion. Should be fun! I will try to get some pics of the kids actually using it this weekend.

Kinsey Kay

Kinsey has always had one binky in her mouth and one in each hand! It has been pretty cute! She is our only binky baby, so I didn't have a 'plan' for taking them away.

Well folks..........they are GONE!!! and she hasn't asked for them one time.

She was starting to throw fits over her binkies. She was not being a very sweet girl. So Momma decided, they needed to go. I talked to her about it. Told her Binkies are for babies and Kinsey is a big girl. She said 'Big Girl' I said yes. I told her Macie was a baby and we should give her the binkies. She said OK. So we got all the binkies and 'gave' them to Macie. Momma actually baggied them and hid them safely in the closet.

I am so grateful for this wonderful, mature, sweet blessing in my life. She has transitioned from bottle, to twin bed, and now from her binkies sooo well! She is so smart and I just love her!

Aunt Candace requested a picture of the girls together. Here is what happened.

Then Big Brother offered to get in the picture:

She sure does love her Bubby!

(check out that big baby!)

BIG KIDS

This is Devan's Grandma- Granny Great!!! she is such a wonderful woman whom I have really bonded with. I just love her dearly. Look at all those big kids! ha!

Wow, my kids have grown. It is so unbelievable. I had them each lay down so I could measure them with my flexed tape measure. I couldn't even believe it!!!! A couple months ago I measured both the big kids. They were 37 and 32 inches. Today I measured them and they were:  Ethan- 40.5 inches (60%) and Kinsey 35.5(90%). How on Earth did that happen! I mean, I could tell that Kinsey was showing some mid drift, but man I didn't realize she was getting so big!

The kicker, Macie Mae has grown 6.5 inches in 3 months!She is now 25.5 inches long and isn't even on the charts. She is so long and is now in mostly 6 month clothing because of it. Macie has been nursed the longest of all 3 kids and is definitely the biggest of all 3. I am SO blessed and proud of my accomplishment! And it is showing 10 fold! I just keep pushing, thanks to my WONDERFUL friend Kelsey to keep nursing. I wanted to give up about a month ago  and she told me to keep going because it was the best thing I can ever give Macie and she is right. I am so glad I am able to nurse my precious girl.

Macie is getting extra active, I can't wait for her to start rolling over soon. She is grabbing at toys and smiling such big smiles (esp at Daddy!). She goes for a check up at 4 months, can't wait to hear how much she weighs!

Sad Face

Look out Daddy!

Can't get over...

How big our baby girl is already! She is 10 weeks now- and much bigger then our other two were. :) We just absolutely adore her and her fun personality. She gives Daddy the silliest smile when he holds her. What a doll.

The kids just love her to pieces!! They are always giving her kisses and saying "hi Macie, hi Macie" so cute! Ethan's favorite thing to say to her is "good morning Macie" at any point in the day :) my sweet boy!

Kelsey

I just love this girl, she is one amazing friend! We met at church when our 3 year olds "got married!" and we have become such great friends. Thanks for everything Kelsey!

Silly Girl

I just adore this crazy little girl. Kinsey Kay is almost 21 months now. She is sooo silly and loud! Very excited and playful. She definitely makes life an adventure.

With Kinsey I had Postpartum Depression. At 6 weeks it was at its worst, and I sought help from my doctor. Fortunately this man knew me and knew that I was not my normal self. I was very fortunate to be in his care. He put me on a low dose of an antidepressant. It took effect immediately and I was feeling normal emotions again. The downfall- I missed 6 weeks of bonding with my precious daughter. That may not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but it is. Kinsey and I missed out on a very important time in her life. I still have horrible guilt over this. I was sick and couldn't have done anything different from what I did. I was very blessed to have Devan by my side to support me and take care of Kinsey for me. She was on formula since I wasn't up to feeding her. So she and Devan bonded while he fed her and cared for her. She is 20 months now and they are so incredibly bonded. Makes me feel blessed to have a wonderful husband that was able and willing to step up. God is good!

The point of this post is that, I had my 6 week check up on Friday. My doctor asked me how I was feeling with 3 little ones. And I was able to say GREAT! I may not get the sleep I want, I may not get to eat when I'm hungry, and I may have to sit and nurse for hours at a time!! BUT, I am well! Thank you GOD for giving me the gift of motherhood. I may still be sad over my loss of attachment to Kinsey at birth, but I learned such an appreciation for bonding with my children. I make a special effort with each of them now, not taking a moment for granted. I love and adore all 3 of them equally- they are God gifts!

1 month

1 month old already! She weighs 8 lbs 9 oz and is 22 1/4 inches long! Her head is 14 cm. Her weight and height are around the 10th percent and her height is between 50-75% :)

She did get 2 medicines for her reflux and Mommy was recommended to take some things out of her diet to try too. We'll see!

5 years!!

Happy Anniversary Devie!! love you!

Pretty Princess

Macie is 3 weeks tomorrow! She is such a sweet baby girl. She needs a few schedule adjustments, but hopefully it won't last forever. She tends to sleep all evening and then get up from 10-12pm and then again around 4 or 5 until 7am. She wants to nurse during those times, the entire time! She does not like her swing one bit and will cry until you take her back out. Our other two just love to be in their cradle swings. She has been spitting up quite a bit after each feeding, so at her 1 month I'm going to ask about reflux. I think she weighs closer to 8 lbs now! She is getting so big so fast!

A Brother's Love

Macie Mae!

Macie Mae arrived via csection Friday April 23rd at 2:12 pm. She was 6 lbs 8 oz and 19 inches long. She is beautiful and very healthy.

I went Friday for my last OB appt and expected to have Macie this coming Thursday. She decided she was ready to come a little early though. We measured my belly and it was still 34 cm, so she had been at 34cm for about 5 weeks. So we did a profile on her to check her fluid, last week at my 38 week appt her fluid was at a 12. This time, it had no measurable pockets. You have to have one 2cm pocket to pass and I did have one, but her cord was in it so we couldn't count it. So the dr, who wasn't my normal dr, said he was going to deliver and I needed to go home and pack. So I went right home and got ready and waited for Devan to come home and get me.

 The surgery itself wasn't too bad. They took about a million tries getting my epidural in, and I was starting to freak out I was going to get spinal headaches or be paralyzed. It was awful! But they finally got it and everything went pretty fast. I did get my tubal still! though, I hear its the reason for most of my pain right now, well worth it.


I left my appt just after 11 and Macie was here by 2! We didn't have her named until she was born, but if you meet her you will see it fits our little girl perfect!!

I was really worried what the kids would do when they met her. But Ethan came running in the house yesterday saying Macie Mae Macie Mae and it was so dang cute. He is so sweet and gentle with her. Kinsey knows its a baby... and that's really it I think. She doesn't pay her much attention. But overall they did really well and haven't been jealous yet! Just wait til Im all alone! But that won't be for a while yet. Devan's cousin will be here Sunday to stay the week with me, so that will be awesome!

Macie needs her Momma, she's a bit of a clingy little thing and isn't grasping the idea of sleeping anywhere but my chest!

Anxious

My nerves are starting to get the best of me. I'm trying not to, but I am just naturally a very anxious person. I am down to just under 10 days to go until our new little girl will be here. I am feeling very unprepared, in a lot of ways. I know in my head that things will all work out just fine, but my gut keeps fighting me on it! We have decided on a first name for sure, but still working on a middle name. We have a crib, but its not where I'd like it to be. I worry about the kids and I don't want to leave them! I always feel like Mommy knows best, and if I'm not here..... well, it won't go my way!!! lol. I'm sure they will be alive and well when I return home, but I just want to be the one caring for them. I just need to set my worries aside and hand them over to God. I know I'm in good hands, I just need to relax! :)

Name Our Baby!!

http://www.babycenter.com/403_name-baby-will_11592321_780.bc

17 days

We are down to 17 days!!! and I do belive we now have an official baby name. Thank goodness! Now I can relax a bit and stop staying up late to name her. She also has her crib and changing table up and ready. I'm starting to feel a bit more prepared for her arrival. Though, I do want her to patiently wait 17 more days! I'm not that ready yet! lol.  I had my 37 week appt on Friday and I was still measuring 34 weeks. She just keeps dropping further and further down! Her fluid is staying up at a safe level and will be checked again on Friday just to make sure. She is doing great in there though! I am fairly comfortable for being so close to the end. I am not really sleeping at night, but that's expected. I have been very blessed though with 3 fairly easy pregnancies!! So no complaints from me :)

Kinsey's bloodwork all came back normal- so she definitely had or has nothing serious going on. Praise the LORD! Still not sure what the deal was with the bruises, but I'm just checking her daily to watch for more. She act and sleeps normal, so hopefully it was a fluke situation and it won't come up again.

Ethan seems to be going through a growth spurt. He is sleepy all day and has taken a nap voluntarily for the 3rd day in a row now. He also slept 12 hours straight in his own bed last night- he normally comes to crawl in bed with me around 1 am or so. He's hasn't been himself, he isn't wanting to go outside and play, wanted to leave the zoo and Grandpa's house yesterday. I am hoping once he is done with his growth spurt and not so sleepy he will return to his normal self. Praying its nothing else!

36 weeks! Kiddo updates!

Our little girl weighed about 5 lbs 7 oz a week ago, so she may be getting closer to 6 lbs now! Her fluid was down to a 5 which is very low, but on the last check it was up to a 10!!!! I am getting it checked again on Friday to make sure its staying up high enough.  We still have not decided on a name- and probably won't decide for sure until we meet her. I put her crib up today in Ethan's room, because I just HAD to have a spot just for her. Ethan and Kinsey play in there a lot, but hopefully there won't be any major issues. She will have her bassinet in our room for a month or two anyways.

Kinsey has some unusual spots or bruises- but we had bloodwork and the results were all normal! So at least she has nothing serious going on. Still very unsure why they were there or how they got to be so perfectly round. The dr said "she must have slept on something" yeah right!! Hopefully though, it really is nothing and it won't happen again. She also had her 18 month check up this month. She is 22 lbs and 31.5 inches long. She is doing really well physically and mentally. She seems to really understand quite a bit and she knows a ton of words! She really impresses us!

Ethan is back to having night terrors about twice a week. He had them a lot a few months ago, but then had a break where he wasn't having them at all. They have been lasting anywhere from 2 minutes up to 20 minutes. Its so hard to be there when he is having one, because all I want to do is comfort him and I can't. He has no idea I am there and if I try to talk to him he gets more mad (even though he's asleep).  So I just have to wait it out. Right now I am putting Chamomille drops in his milk in the afternoon and evening. They are supposed to be great for night terrors since they relax the nervous system. So far so good- but he will have to take them a bit longer to really know for sure. Otherwise- he is doing pretty well. He is super smart- but has some behavioral issues. He is of course 3- and a boy!! But I do think some of his behavioral problems are more then an age thing- so Im trying to work on it the best I know how. I just pray he becomes a very respectful well mannered young man one day!

Paige turned 2 today!

34 weeks

At my 34 week check up the baby was measuring between 31 and 32 weeks. So I have a sonogram this coming Friday to check her development and growth. I didn't get to see my regular OB as he was off for Spring Break. So after my sonogram I will go see my OB and see what he is thinking about the baby. Her heartbeat was 136 and strong. I am feeling good mostly and can definitely tell she is running out of room! I'm not feeling near as tired as I was last month, so that's great. She will be here before we know it, 5 weeks from this Thursday!

Prayers

At my 32 week appt this past Friday, the baby was measuring at 29 weeks. The previous visit at 29 weeks she measured at 27 weeks. So she didn't grow as much as she should have and is also not staying consistent. I go this next Friday the 19th for my 34 week checkup and they will measure me once again. If I am still 3 weeks small they will schedule the growth sonogram and have a look at her from the inside.

As some of you know, Kinsey measured small til the end and she was born at 39 weeks at 7lbs even. And was as healthy as could be. The difference with Kinsey and this little one, is that Kinsey stayed consistently 2 weeks behind at every single checkup. We had the growth sonogram and she was always dead on for dates. She did have low fluid the entire second half of the pregnancy and we kept a close eye on her. The reason I am worried with this one is she has gone from 1.5 weeks to 3 weeks small now. Her growth is slowing. I can feel her moving around like crazy and know she definitely feels plenty big!

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers! Pray she gets plenty of nutrients and nothing is seriously wrong. I'm not ready to see this little girl quite yet! Thanks!

30 weeks and counting

30 weeks!! 9 more to go! I am feeling well for the most part. I seem to have hit a very sleepy wall though. About 11 am I am done and need a very deep nap, which isn't always an option. I was very blessed this week though and Ethan stayed 3 nights with his cousins at his Grammie and Papa's house! So Kinsey and I had some very needed bonding time and I was able to nap with her. It was very nice. Thanks guys!

Its scheduled!

Thursday April 29th at 11:30 am we will be meeting our little princess!! Followed shortly by a Tubal and then off to recover with our very last baby! :) So glad to have a plan!  She has a name and a birth date all ready for her.

We have a name!

She has a name!!! And we aren't telling. But what a relief at 29 weeks to have a name. Now the next 10 weeks will be a bit more relaxing :)

Now to pick her nursery colors and get it painted. Get Kinsey's big girl room finished- its no where close to being framed! and get Kinsey in to her room, Ethan out of the nursery and into his old room*where Kins is* and then the baby will have her room. We can do that in 10 weeks right?? Not to mention either move Kinsey to a toddler bed or let it wait til the baby is really ready, which could be 5 months from now. I'm thinking we will wait! We have a bassinet and a pack n play/bassinet. That should last us until June/July :)

At this point the baby will come either April 23rd- original plan. Or April 30th. I'm going to talk with my dr tomorrow to see if we can hold off til the 30th. They already told me they don't want me going past 39 weeks with my 3rd csection. BUT on the 30th I will be 2-3 days shy of 40 weeks. SO really its up to the dr. Mom just really wants to be at the Women's conference at her church, and I'd love to be there with her. It was such a great weekend last year and I really want to experience that with my mom again. Obviously though, its a medical decision and solely up to my dr! So I should know soon enough!

7 months!

This pregnancy is flying by! just 11 more weeks left til this little girl will be here. I have been on my Gall bladder medicine for a week now, and it seems to be working. I have to make sure I take it 30 minutes before each meal or I can really tell I didn't. I get a horrible tightness and pain in my chest right by my Gall bladder and it will last a couple of hours until I take another pill. What a mess! Hopefully it will go away once the baby is born, which is very likely :)

This baby still does not have a name!! We are pretty sure we are keeping it a secret til she is born. But right now, that doesn't seem to be an issue! lol. We do have a couple favorite names, so hopefully if we get rushed we can just pick one. We are taking suggestions!

3rd trimester

You are 27 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 25 weeks)

Yes, ladies, you’ve finally reached the infamous “live-on-the-toilet” stage. Your feet are bigger, your breasts are bigger, your belly is bigger, even your baby is bigger—and something’s gotta give. Annoyingly, nature didn’t choose your butt and instead opted to compress your bladder, which is now being completely squashed by your-super-sized-baby... all day long. So your best shot is to just accept the fact you’re going to need to urinate every 10 minutes (and if you manage to go longer, thank the good lord).


So true, my bladder is sooo annoyed right now. But yay for the third trimester on Sunday!!!!

•The fetus weighs almost 2 pounds now and is about 14.5 inches long.
•Baby now weighs about 875 grams and is 36.5 cm in length.
•The head is over 2.5 inches (7cm) in diameter.
•Your baby's hearing continues to develop.
•The eyes can blink, open and close.

At 27 weeks, your baby's length will have tripled or quadrupled from the 14 week mark. If your baby is born this week, the chances of survival is now at least 80 percent.
 

Official

Well, it IS a girl... its official, after 3 sonograms! She has 2 possible names, we are still duking that one out.
I actually went for a Gallbladder sonogram, but I'm still waiting on the results for that.

Another week closer!

25 weeks!

This week has started out great! We bought all the lumber and whatnot to start Kinsey's new big girl room!! Hopefully it won't take more then 13 weeks to finish!  We are very hopeful. Kinsey will move over to her new room and Ethan will move back downstairs to his old room(where Kinsey is now). Then Little Miss will have a whole room to herself right by ours. I got started on the cleaning today and made great progress. The rest is up to Devan! :)  I will definitely share before and after pictures, but don't expect them for a while.

24 week appt

Had my appt today and gained 3 lbs finally. I have lost a total of 15 so far, but recently started gaining it back. Yay! :) The baby is still measuring small, about a week small right now. So at my 28 week appt we will check again and if she is still small we will get to have another sonogram. I would love another sono so we can know for sure this baby is staying a girl.... since the last two sonos weren't very good.

Also, I had a horrible pain attack last Friday and it turns out it was my gallbladder. Let's pray I don't have too many more attacks and I can hold off on surgery a few months AFTER the baby comes.

6 months

24 weeks!!! just 15 more to go!
I have an appt on Friday to see my OB :)